The Witnesses

Ok so maybe this post title is a little Stephen King-esque but what happened to me today was bizarre enough to merit a title by the man who brought us The Shining. So today started like any other day, I got ready for school at eight in the morning getting ready for a day chock full of foreign language and books about knights, you know, the usual. Anyway I began the slow walk from my apt. to campus. Now i say slow a) because my feet hurt all the time these days and b) because i know that at some point i have to climb the stairs next to the duck pond, a daily activity i have come to loath. anyway i slowly made my way to campus and as i was crossing the final street before i reached the accursed stairs I saw two women standing at the bottom looking right at me. They were dressed like sister missionaries: modest floral skirts, modest button down shirts, and sensible jackets. They were holding a stack of papers, and I naturally assumed they would hand me a pass-along card or something similar. As I passed them one of them smiled at me, handed me the papers and I moved along. Halfway up the stairs I looked down and saw what she handed me. It was October's issue of The Watchtower. I only knew what this was from a Bloom County comic where Mike Binkley's father is attacked by the Jehovah's Witness pitt bull. I was shocked that Jehovah's Witness missionaries had infiltrated BYU, it's smart if you think about it, the one place you could be sure people believed in God and would listen to two modestly dressed young women talking about religion. I flipped through the issue, pausing at the hilarious illustrations (my favorite was a literate interpretation of Satan as a 6 headed dragon wearing crowns, wrapped in chains falling from Heaven) but I soon threw it away. But now that they have come even to the very center of mormondom no one is safe. Not even you!